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1. |
Intro
00:56
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Hello there! Here's our new cd, I hope that you like it, we're Assorted Items
Chris rocks and I really can't sing, and Dave is the tallest, we're Assorted Items
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2. |
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I know it might sound strange, I can't help to feel this way, but my wang it does bend, for only lesbians, it happened years ago, to young to even know, but when those two girls kissed, it was heavenly bliss
I got a crush, I got a crush, I got a crush on a lesbian
So many types to like: gays, lemons, even dikes, I just can't comprehend, my love for estrogen, to get my daily fix, put on the Dixie Chicks, all my friends they must know, I watch the Ellen show
I got a crush, I got a crush, I got a crush on a lesbian
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3. |
Naked
02:57
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One look and one second that's all it took to realise I’m in love, when you smile I feel like melting and I know that we have something great, I hope it lasts savour the moment the end is near and we're on borrowed time, we're worlds apart one thing in common that our love will always hold us true
I know that it can’t be true when I laid eyes on you
I know that life is better with you
My mistakes my imperfections you see them but give me another chance, you’re the one the one and only I’ll bow to you cause your my royal queen, now take my hand we'll walk through the crowd and close our eyes and taste each other’s kiss, hold me close could be the last time I wish it’s not but you think sometime else
I know that it can’t be true when I laid eyes on you
I know that life is better with you
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4. |
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You’ve had your chance it’s gone, we’ve moved on and we’ve got the band back together, oh yeah and we have a great new sound and you were the one that brought us down, we’ve now realised
We’ve grown up since high school, but now you you’re not cool, we all have our choices, but yours were excuses
No talents what’s you had, the only thing you brought was booby flab, I say that A.I is the best, believe me you have large man breasts, we’ve now realised
We’ve grown up since high school, but now you you’re not cool, we all have our choices, but yours were excuses
So long and were not said, actually you’ll find that were quite gland, oh yeah and Chris still has your bass, your head must be filled with empty space, we’ve now realised
Don’t bother your bore me, with all your dumb stories, we’ll make it we’ll be stars, but not you, you wear bras
You’ve had your chance it’s gone, you’ve had your chance it’s gone
We’ve grown up since high school, but now you you’re not cool, we all have our choices, but yours were excuses, it’s time for rehearsal, but you were a no show, your debts and your problems, we’re so glad that your gone
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5. |
The Hotdog Song
05:28
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Got no strength to carry on, got no fight to sing this song, I just want my hotdog back, it’s the thing that I love most, I feel warm when it is close, I just want my hotdog back
It’s been lost for far too long, I can’t breathe when it is gone, I just want my hotdog back, it’s like a real bad dream, I can speak but I can’t scream, I just want my hotdog back
Today I searched for more than hours, but all I found was nothing, I'm nothing yeah without you, I tried I climbed the highest mountain, but all I found was sweet F.A, I'm not a man without you
Livings just not right, without you by my side, I just want my hotdog back, and when we are apart, the whole world feels dark, I just want my hotdog back
Today I searched for more than hours, but all I found was nothing, I'm nothing yeah without you, I tried I climbed the highest mountain, but all I found was sweet F.A, I'm not a man without you
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6. |
My Coco's A Liar
02:28
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I had a girl once called Coco, Nina Pappas was her real name, we’ll hang out every day, playing our fun little games, holding hands in the sun, have never ever felt this way, but then I found out the truth and everything had to change
My Coco’s a liar, hurting cheating now I despise her, I didn’t, believe it, other guy’s footprints on my ceiling
My Coco was a real big slut, everybody’s been in her mutt, so I came up with a plan, I was going to end her life, so I drove her down to the beach, and I reach in under my seat, and I pulled out a gun and shot her dead, three times in the head
My Coco’s a liar, hurting cheating now I despise her, I had to I killed her, now she’s lying limp in my vehicle
I killed my Coco just last night, I buried her under moonlight, then I ditched my car and burnt my clothes, now she’s out of sight, the police came knocked on my door, I said I haven’t seen that whore, so I packed my shit and moved away, now I live in Frankston
My Coco’s a liar, hurting cheating now I despise her, I had to, I killed her, now she’s lying limp in my vehicle, my Coco’s a liar, you can look but you’ll never find her, I did it, I killed her, but now I’m dating a girl called Laura.
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7. |
Better Off Alone
02:40
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Lying down listening to Blink, I'm trying so hard now not to think, of life if things were different, maybe we’ll be together, I know it's hard to say, your smile takes me away, to a place way up there in the stars, near Jupiter and Mars, but then
So many times I’ve tried to hide, all my feelings trapped inside, keep you right out of my mind, but still I need you by my side, we’re better off alone
And were the best of friends, but being friends is not enough for me, I want that little more, I want to take you right here on the floor, and when I’m away from home, and feeling all alone, I need you there to hold me tight, we’ll talk all through the night, but then
So many times I’ve tried to hide, all my feelings trapped inside, keep you right out of my mind, but still I need you by my side, we’re better off alone
It’s getting harder to breathe, now you’re apart from me, this train wrecks a big disaster, remember the time we nearly kissed, our lips were so close, but we had to resist
We’re better off alone, we’re better off alone
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8. |
Growing Up
03:40
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How much pills did she just swallow? go call the ambulance, I know about those teenage dramas, cause I was once that age
When growing up things never go to plan, I’m giving up, I hope mum understands
I’m crying out but no one’s listening, I’m trapped inside my room, this dark and silent pain that fills me, will all be over soon
When growing up things never go to plan, I’m giving up, I hope dad understands
Lying down in the gutter, and it smells like old cigarettes, a small crowd forms around us, and they ask me if she is dead, now the sirens grow closer, and I prey that she will hold on, I can't stop my tears running, no it's too late cause she is gone
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9. |
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I know sometimes life doesn’t turn out the way that it’s suppose to, I know sometimes it feels like the whole fucking world is against you, It wouldn’t be a crime if you felt like giving up, but you have to realise that there are more people worse off
At least you’re not like Jason, at least you’re not a rat, at least you’re not like Jason, your nickname isn’t J-Mac
I know its tuff, it will all work out in time, It might seem hard but you have to turn that frown upside down, you won’t be alone, there’s plenty more fish in the sea, you won’t be alone, you’re a good looking guy just like me
Thank your stars you don’t look like Jason, at least you have some facial hair, at least you’re not like Jason, you have people around that care
We all mess up and do things that are dumb, but don’t hate yourself cause what’s done is done, you will fight on through and live another day, your future is bright and that is what they say
But they don’t say that for Jason, because he is a bum, at least you’re not Jason, his I.Q is negative one
And when your life gets turn around, all you can do is laugh and move on from the past
You’ve got the strength to carry on and get on with your life, you’ve got the strength to carry on and you’re ready for the fight, but consider yourself lucky because you’re not Jason, at least you’re not Jason, at least you’re not Jason, at least you’re not Jason
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10. |
Freefall
02:52
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A shifty kid lies through his teeth, has never spoke a word of truth, a black mark on human kind, but still he’s a friend of mind
A skinning man in baggy clothes, weighs about one hundred pounds, no one sees him walking by, but still he’s a friend of mind
Have never seen a guy so whipped, his misses loves using her leash, so this guy’s has a couple flaws, but still he’s a friend of mine, friend of mine
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11. |
Cookie Monster Shuffle
00:36
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Cookie Cookie Cookie!
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12. |
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What is love, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more
Oh I don't know, why you're not there, I give you my love, but you don't care, so what is right, and what is wrong, gimmie a sign
What is love, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more
Oh I don't know, what can I do, what else can I say, it's up to you, I know we're one, just me and you, I can't go on
Don't hurt me, don't hurt me
I want no other, no other lover, this is our life, our time, when we are together, I need you forever, Is it love,
What is love, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more
What is love, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more, what is love
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13. |
Hot Chick On My Bus
02:54
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Every single day, around 3:30, I’m waiting for my bus, route 903, I swipe my monthly tic, and look for a seat, I stared up at the back, our eyes first met I nearly died
I never cared for fate, or love at first sight, but this was something else, I’ve found my soul mate, I sat across from her, and gave a small smile, I tried hard not to stare, but there’s a hot chick on my bus
There is a hot chick on my bus now bus now, there is a hot chick on my bus now bus now
She smiled back at me, my heart stopped beating, with headphone in her ears, her music pumping
I have to talk to her, at least know her name, I will now miss my stop cause there’s a hot chick on my bus
There is a hot chick on my bus now bus now, there is a hot chick on my bus now bus now
I slide right to her, with great confidence, I ask about her tunes, she say there NOFX, we have a great long chat, and swap our numbers, my life is now complete, I’ve pulled a hot chick on my bus
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14. |
Fight!
04:12
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I remember when I was seventeen, the world always felt so clean, no climate change on our regime, no talks of pollutants in the atmosphere, or use of chemical warfare, no thoughts have ever made me scared, but now we’ve moved into zero eight, the globe is now one big debate, I’m glad to see it's not just fate, new strategies have been put in place, out environment we can’t deface, let’s keep down our levels of waste
Whoa, whoa nothing ever lasts forever, whoa, whoa stand together and we’ve got to fight, fight
Have you heard about the killings of the whales at sea, why don’t they just let willy be, doesn’t sound like research science to me, China says that the levels of the air are safe, I wouldn’t want to run that race, world records times aren’t on pace, little Johnny is no longer the top dog, eleven years of power long gone, will Rudd do a better job, there’s so many problems in the world today, we cannot keep on living this way, our environments the one that pays
Whoa, whoa nothing ever lasts forever, whoa, whoa stand together and we’ve got to fight, fight
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15. |
The 30 Second Song
00:30
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This is the 30 second song. I know that it won't take very long, now it's over.
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16. |
There's No Turning Back
03:14
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Saw you just the other day, now you won’t return my call, all I said that you were lame, now you won’t return my call, hard to get playing your dumb games, now you won’t return my call, saw you just the other day, return my call
I thought you were the one but it’s all turned to crap, it’s not my fault just cut me some slack, It is all lost now and there’s no turning back, there’s no turning back
Saw you just the other day, this time I said get lost, yes you had the chance to stay, so go and just get lost, you’re a mess playing your dumb games, so go and just get lost, saw you just the other day, so go get lost
I thought you were the one but it’s all turned to crap, it’s not my fault just cut me some slack, It is all lost now and there’s no turning back, there’s no turning back
Since you went away, since you broke my heart, the pain inside yeah it’s never ending, you walked right out my door and there’s no turning back, an apology I will not be sending, those words will last forever now, you left saying I love you, but no love will last forever now, cause there’s no turning back, since you went away, since you broke my heart, the pain inside yeah it’s never ending, you walked right out my door, now you’ve gone for good and there’s no turning back
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